Back to School Thoughts

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Since it’s the season of Back to School, I’ve been thinking of how I felt when I was young around this time. I used to love when we went shopping for school supplies. Getting to choose what I wanted, getting new clothes, new shoes. We always shopped a bit early to avoid the big mob that appears in malls about two weeks before school starts. So I would spend at least three weeks looking at those huge bags of school supplies and asking my mom a thousand times if I could tag it all and put it in my backpack. Of course she only let me to that about a week before school started. I loved checking the list and the stuff I had to make sure I had everything I needed; putting my name on every bit of it, including every single pencil in the box. I think it’s my need to organize side that made me love all of that. I mean, what kind of kid loves going back to school? Haha

I have such beautiful memories of when we went back to school that I find myself eager for that time to come for my baby. Of course there’s the horrible part where this time around, I’ll be the one paying for all that school stuff. But I’m eager to see how my son will react to it all. I’m hoping he’ll love it as much as I did. I hope I’ll still enjoy it, now that I hate being in crowds. Hopefully, we’ll find a time to go shopping for it all when there isn’t much of a crowd.

My baby is only 14 months and I’m already imagining him getting ready for his first day in kindergarten. Crazy how I’m terrified at the idea of him going to daycare (https://youngmomsouvenirs.wordpress.com/2014/08/18/the-daycare-struggle/), but I’m eager to see how he’ll react to going to school.

 

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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The Daycare Struggle

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Before having a baby, I didn’t think twice before telling my sister she should put her son in daycare. I told her it would be good for him, and it would give her the chance to work (since she’s a single mom). Now that I have a baby of my own, things aren’t as black and white as they used to be.

Once I gave birth, everyone was asking me when I was going back to work. At first I kept saying probably after a year of maternity leave. But the more the year passed, the more I wasn’t ready to put my baby in daycare. I started thinking that before one year-old it was way too young to put a baby in daycare. A baby needs his mother in his first year of life, I kept telling myself. Now that my baby is a year old, I still feel it’s not the right time. I feel like between one and two years there are too many firsts that you can miss if you put your baby in daycare. Plus, now that he’s used to seeing me 24/7, I’m scared he’ll think I’m abandoning him if I leave him in daycare. Besides, there aren’t any spots available in any daycare; I keep telling myself. I bet if I searched more I would find a spot. But I don’t want to. I’m just not ready to let my baby spend the day with a total stranger.

On this subject, I feel like nobody understands me. My mother didn’t have to make this choice. She was able to be a stay at home mom. My mother-in-law needed to go back to work after 6 months I think, because those were the lengths of the maternity leaves back then and they needed her income; and they lived in a small village so she perfectly knew who was babysitting her kids. My sister spent some time as a stay at home mom, but when her government income wasn’t enough she needed to start working and put her son in daycare. His first daycare was held by our aunt, so it was no stress at all; and when my aunt had to close her daycare, she found a daycare so perfect. If there was one where I live I would immediately enroll my son. I don’t feel like anyone I know had the struggle I’m having, and that’s why it stresses me so much. I feel like they can’t understand the war in my mind about putting my baby in daycare.

Before having a baby, this question wasn’t even something I thought about. I just figured I’d either be a stay at home mom like my mother was; like I wanted to be. Or end up putting my son in daycare around the age of three so he could start socializing. Now that I have a baby, it’s so much more a struggle to take that first step and enroll my son in a daycare.

 

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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Money Doesn’t Grow on Trees

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I was raised with my mother being a stay at home mom, and I’ve always imagined being able to do the same thing. Sadly, you can’t do that nowadays if you want a house; at least not where I live. At first, I was planning on only working weekends until my baby was three years old. Then my SO started saying that three years old was a bit of a stretch if we wanted a house, so I told him I would start putting Baby in daycare slowly starting at two and a half years old so that I could work full time by the time he was three. Then reality hit me and I realised we didn’t have the finances to do that, especially if we wanted a house before the next baby; which we’re trying to plan to have when Baby is two. So now I have to start thinking about putting my son in daycare so I can work full time before getting pregnant again.

Since I had some money put aside, I was able to take my time and figure out when I actually needed to start working again. In the year we started talking about having a baby, I managed to put aside enough money to last at least a year if need be. I kept putting a bit aside while I was on maternity leave to make sure I had enough since now I knew how much a baby actually cost. Sadly, because of the stupid government, I crashed in a wall of payments due (because they decided they spent half a year giving me too much) and it drained my savings. I started stressing about money and trying to find a weekend job, and I almost fell in depression because of it.

I felt pressured from every sides of my family. I kept imagining they thought I was lazy and only not getting a job because I didn’t want to work. I also felt pressured by my SO because I knew he wanted a house before a baby, and I felt like I pushed him to have a baby sooner then he planned because I wanted us to be able to have the possibility of having three kids before our 30s; and now the house was out of the question since I didn’t have any money coming in. It was a very horrible month before I finally found a job. A job that only took away half of the stress.

Now I have a paycheck of 9 hours a week. The stress of not having money coming in is gone, but the stress of having enough money to buy a house is still there. I’m not sure my paycheck is enough for us to have a comfortable life with a house. I know I probably should get a full time job, but I’m not ready yet. I would love to get a full time job, don’t get me wrong. There are so many offers that I would love to apply to, but I just don’t feel ready to put my baby in daycare. But that’s another story.

What I’m trying to say is: it’s a shame both parents need to work full time jobs for them to have a house and a family. Of course, there’s always the option of the dad or the mom getting at least two jobs while the other stays at home, but then the parent that works will never see his kids. It’s a sad world where you have to pay someone else to take care of your child so you can have a paycheck to pay for a roof on your head.

 

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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Stranger Anxiety

You know how babies are supposed to have stranger anxiety at a certain age? Well, my baby is going to be 14 months in two days and he is not scared of strangers at all; and never has been. Depending on his mood, he either just falls silent for a few seconds than demand they take him in their arms, or he just immediately goes to wanting to be taken by them.

Whenever we go to the mall or grocery shopping, we sit him in the cart and when a stranger stops and talks to him, he holds his arms up wanting that stranger to take him. Or even when he’s in our arms and someone we don’t know comes up and starts talking to him, he’ll point the person, signifying he wants them to take him.

It’s not quite a problem. I don’t mind that he’s not scared of strangers. It makes taking him out way more pleasant, but what I do mind, is the fact that those strangers sometimes actually take him in their arms! It hasn’t happened while he’s in the cart, but when he’s in our arms and suddenly wants to go in a stranger’s arms, it happened more than once that that person took him! I never moved away before they could take him because I didn’t want to seem overprotective, but I do NOT enjoy it.

I don’t understand why someone would take a complete stranger’s baby in his arms. You don’t know them; you probably won’t ever see them again, so why take their baby in your arms? It’s the strangest thing in the world, and the one thing that annoys me the most. I don’t want my baby to grow up scared of strangers, but I want him to still be careful; and it would help a lot to teach him to be safe around strangers if they would stop taking him in their arms!

 

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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The White Line Complication

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Today I wanted to talk about what happened to me during or after giving birth. I think I mentioned it a little bit in a previous post, but I felt like I needed to go in details for future moms.

Doctors warn you about many things. Don’t gain too much weight, don’t stress, don’t lift heavy objects, etc. But they don’t always go into details about exactly what could happen if you do something wrong. I apparently did something wrong, and paid for it with something I didn’t even know could happen. Apparently, I did a wrong movement with my abdomen while giving birth or in the first month after giving birth, and the white line of the abdomen ruptured. I’m not sure when it happened because the doctor said I should’ve felt a sharp pain but I don’t remember feeling anything, so the best conclusion is it happened while I was giving birth since there was all sorts of pain everywhere during that time.

Now, the white line of the abdomen (clinically called the linea alba) is a line of fibrous structure that runs down the middle of the abdomen. Its purpose is to keep the left and right side of the abdomen muscles connected. (for more details go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linea_alba_(abdomen))

In my case, if the white line ruptured while giving birth it’s because I put too much pressure on my already stretched abdomen while pushing and it couldn’t hold it together anymore. If it gave up after birth, it was because I tried forcing with the abdomen when it was still too stretched from having a baby pushing it outwards. Either way, I no longer have this fibrous structure holding the two halves of my abdomen muscles together.

It doesn’t mean anything alarming, as long as I’m careful. My doctor didn’t tell me exactly what it meant (I didn’t really ask either since I had no idea what he was talking about) and so I spent about 6-7 months not knowing what my condition actually was, and in those months I did everything that made my condition worse. I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to force my abdomen, and since I didn’t know that and wanted to lose weight, I was doing push-ups and sit-ups like crazy. I started feeling some abdominal pain at random moments during the day and when I finally talked about it to my doctor he said it might be connected to my white line being ruptured. He suggested I go see a physiotherapist. It wasn’t until the end of February that I finally had the courage to get an appointment.

During the second visit, the physiotherapist gave me a sheet with some exercises I could do that would help my abdominal pains. On the third visit, she asked the post-pregnancy professional to come check me to see if what she had told me was right. The woman put her fingers where the white line is supposed to be and asked me to lift my head up. Three of her fingers could fit between my abdomens. I was appalled. No wonder my belly looked like a wrinkled butt! The two halves of my abdomen where THREE FINGERS APPART! There were three fingers of nothingness in my belly! The woman showed another exercise I could do to help bring the two halves back together. She explained that, with those exercises, the right and left side of my abdomen could come close together again, but they would never stick back together. I will eternally have to be careful not to force with the abdomen and always do my exercises.

What does it mean if I get pregnant again? It means that I’ll have to be extra super careful and to keep doing the exercises daily. If I get pregnant again, no matter how careful I am, there is a pretty good chance that the two sides of my abdomen will get separated again, but they won’t separate as much as they were. Doing the exercises daily and being careful not to put pressure on my abdomen will keep me from going back to square one.

In my case, it’s not that bad, but there may be worse cases out there. I read that it is possible to need surgery from this, if your condition is beyond saving without one. They will only do a surgery if all other options have failed though, so don’t go thinking you can save yourself some trouble by just asking for surgery.

Knowing that if I hadn’t talked about my abdominal pain with my doctor it could’ve let to me needing surgery because I didn’t know about my condition, I think doctors should talk about this with pregnant women. They have a right to know everything that could go wrong during or after pregnancy, and this is one of them.

 

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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My baby is 1 year old!

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Last Friday, on the 30th of May, my baby boy turned 1 year old. It’s so incredible how the year flew by. So many struggles buried under many more joyous moments. It’s been one whole year since I’ve given birth to my precious baby boy. It still feels like it was yesterday. I still get scared that he’ll just stop breathing while he’s sleeping. I still go check on him before going to bed, to make sure he’s o.k. I’m still terribly scared I’ll wake up one day and realize it was all just a dream. That this whole year hasn’t happened and that I don’t have my baby boy. I even still have a hard time believing this is my baby. My little boy that I gave birth to. Me, that still marvels at the fact that I’m not a teenager anymore.

It’s so strange how this little human being can change your life in such a huge way. There are so many things that used to matter so much to me and now they just seem pointless. I used to worry about what everyone would think of me if I had a baby so young. Yes, I wanted to have a baby at 21 years old. Yes, I decided to skip college and start a family. But there are so many people that judge young moms. When you see a young mom, you immediately think it was an accident. That she wasn’t careful enough. Nobody thinks that maybe, just maybe, it was her choice. That this little bundle of joy was actually wanted at that time in her life. Now, a year later, it doesn’t matter to me what people think. Yes, I’m a young mom. That’s what I wanted. I “sacrificed” a career to start my family young. I’ll have my career later. Plenty of time for that. But I want to be able to enjoy seeing my kids grow up. I don’t want to have to go back to work after only a year after giving birth because my career doesn’t let me spend more time at home raising my son. Anyways, I’m rambling.

My little bundle of joy has made me see the simplest joys in life and made me realize I was caring too much about small things.  I’m such a better person because of my son. I want to be a better person for my son. I want him to be able to grow up and say how cool his mom is, and how she teaches him wonderful lessons about life by just being a good example. I’m not saying I’ll be perfect. Of course there are those moments where you just can’t handle it anymore and you start screaming. But if I can have as few moments like that as I can, and more awesome moments, then I’ll dare consider myself a good mom.

Funny how we parents want to teach our children about life, and yet during their first years they’re the ones teaching us. Only one year has passed in this little man’s life and he already taught his mommy very valuable things that she’ll pass back to him when he’s older.

 

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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Breastfeeding story

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This post is a bit more personnal than we’re used to. It’s my experience with breastfeeding, so if you don’t feel confortable reading it, it’s totally ok. I just wanted to put it out there so there would be another story for future moms to help them decide what to do.

Before I got pregnant, I didn’t want anything to do with breastfeeding. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of a small human sucking on my boob to feed. Once I got pregnant, I started hearing stories of people who thought it was the best feeling in the world. I also started reading on the good it would do to my baby. So I started telling myself to at least try it.

Once Xavier was born, the first feeding was the best feeling in the world. My little baby that had just come out of me was now lying next to me drinking the milk my body was making just for him. During our two days/three nights stay at the hospital, breastfeeding started being hell. I was being woken up every three hours to feed Xavier and I was having all the trouble in the world setting him at my breast. Because I was having a hard time placing him, he wouldn’t latch on correctly so it would hurt.

Once we got out of the hospital, it was a little bit easier. I didn’t have a nurse coming in every three hours to tell me it was time to breastfeed, and to criticize how I was doing it. I was in my own place, doing it how it made it feel right. Although I was feeling better breastfeeding without a nurse lurking around me making sure I was doing it their way, I was still having some problems getting used to the feeling. It didn’t quite help that I had to also wake up Xavier every three hours. Everyone around me kept telling me not to wake him up, that you should never wake a baby up. But the nurses told me I had to feed him every three hours until he gained back his birth weight.

We spent a week waking up every three hours to try to feed him. It was extremely hard because he kept falling asleep in the middle of feedings. It made feeding time a hell that lasted a whole hour. Here’s what our routine looked like: Wake Xavier up, spend 20-30 minutes on one boob while fighting with him to keep him awake, change his diaper to try to wake him up more, spend another 20-30 minutes on the second boob still fighting with him to keep him awake. Then start over after two hours of sleep. After that week, we got the o.k. to stop waking him up during the night. It was a huge relief, but, even though he would sometimes wake up after 4 hours, he would mostly wake up on his own after 2 hours (to feed every 3 hours). After about 3 weeks, it started being easier. He started finishing on one boob on his own after about 10 minutes. Feedings would last about half an hour, which was great.

During his two months he started sleeping more during the night. Then he started fussing on the boob. I checked on the Internet what it could mean, and they suggested one of the reasons could be he wasn’t getting enough milk. We weighed him and we found out he was not gaining enough weight. This meant my milk supply lowered since I was feeding him less often. So I had to start pumping to see what I could get out and compensate the rest with formula. By the end of September, my milk supply was dried out. Xavier was completely on formula.

My experience of breastfeeding was awful. Not being able to just let my SO feed the baby once during the night so I could rest a bit more, not knowing if he was drinking enough, the pain I felt each time he would suck on my breast. It was unbearable. If my milk supply hadn’t stopped, I would’ve stopped on my own. Let’s just say I probably won’t be breastfeeding my second child.

 

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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Easter pic and new addiction!

I decided today to only share a cute Easter picture of my baby boy

Friday

 

Isn’t he the cutest? haha ❤

Also, just so this post isn’t a complete lost, here’s a link to my new addiction: http://azaleasdolls.com/heroine.html

You create dolls using features from Disney characters. Here are a few that I did in a couple of hours:

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I guess it could pass for a DIY thing 😛

 

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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New schedule

Like I mentioned on facebook , I’ve been trying to figure out a schedule that would suit me. I decided this schedule might work out:

Monday: A story about my life as a mom (probably mostly about Xavier obviously 😛 )

Wednesday: A book and/or movie review

Friday: A mix of DIY projects, hauls and Loot Crate unboxings

What do you guys think? If it’s all good, I’ll try to start on that schedule on the first week of April. Giving me time to write a few posts in advance.

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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Post-baby body

For this post, I will go ahead and admit right now that I’ve been having a hard time accepting my post-baby body. Now don’t go telling stuff like “it’s normal for your body to look this way, you just had a baby!” I know that, but it doesn’t change how I feel. Now that that’s out there, let me talk about what I read yesterday.

I started reading this self-help book (New Mommy, Hot Body) and although I really like most of the advice, there’s one line that I didn’t quite appreciate.

“Some doctors offer a combination of treatments in what is known as a “mommy makeover”. These often include a breast lift or augmentation, liposuction and individualized skin treaments along with a tummy tuck.”

I’m the kind of person that doesn’t approuve of surgery on your body, unless it’s for health issues. I have a hard time with knowing that doctors actually offer that kind of treatment to a new mom. In the book, the author says you have to wait at least 6 months and to wait until you’re done breastfeeding before talking about those options with your doctor. Now, I don’t know about other moms out there, but I know that after 7 1/2 months in mommyhood, I still feel quite vulnerable at times. And if a doctor were to suggest me those operations to make me feel better about my body, while I’m in one of those moods, I would be tempted to go through them (even though I’m completely against them).

I don’t know how long feeling vulnerable can last. Maybe it’s different for every mom. But I think no moms should be given those kind of options while they feel miserable about their body. Instead of trying to fix us, they should give us directions as to how to exercise well and have a healthy diet. I just feel like they’re taking advantage of a vulnerable mom.

Like I said earlier, unless it’s for health issues, I think that you should never turn to surgery.

Until Next Time!

Young Mom♥


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