The Lazyness that Took Control Of my Life

I’ve recently discovered something and it’s not easy for me to admit because I kind of have a big ego (Just the fact that saying I have a big ego is hard because I don’t want to admit that haha). I have grown to be quite lazy. So lazy, that it actually took control of my life without me noticing it until now.

I’ve been struggling on finding out what I want to do in life. What job I’d like to do for the rest of my life, and what I should study to have that job. At first I was studying in accounting, but I was having such a hard time that I figured it must not be for me. If I had a passion for numbers, it would be easy! That was my thought process; which brought me to taking probably the easiest course on Earth: secretary. But before starting to study in secretary, I had a huge struggle because I wasn’t ready for a full time job that would need me putting my son in daycare. The thought that came in my mind and made me stall my life is that I thought maybe the reason why I can’t decide what to do in life and why I have such a hard time deciding to put my baby in daycare is because my life purpose is to be a stay-at-home mom. That is the thought that made me realize how lazy I’ve become. So lazy, that I’ve started using my son as an excuse to do nothing with my life.

After having that thought, I started thinking that maybe it was just my laziness talking. I talked it out with one of my friends and unknowingly she made me realize the extent of my laziness. My laziness has made me feel content with doing nothing with my life.

Why did I not start working out sooner? I was so motivated when I was pregnant to start to work out as soon as possible after giving birth, but once that time came around, I started saying I was too tired from taking care of the baby to work out. I’ve been using that excuse for a year and a half now, even though right now my baby sleeps about 3 hours in the after-noon and is perfectly fine playing by himself while I do other things.

Why do I not clean as often as I should? Same reason as why I wasn’t working out. Too exhausted from taking care of the baby. And more recently, “He’s taking so much of my time now that he only has one nap, I want to relax when he’s sleeping”, but I always end up not knowing what to do while he sleeps and end up being bored for 2 hours.

Why didn’t I get a job sooner? Laziness made me content with the revenue I was getting from the government. The only thing that pushed a bit of my laziness aside so I’d get a job was the fact that I stopped receiving one of the government revenue and I wasn’t receiving enough anymore to pay what I had to pay. I still managed to find a job that payed well so it didn’t require me to work many hours. Although that is working for now, I’m only gaining enough to pay what I need to pay. I don’t have any extra, which would be great if we want to have a house.

Why did I not study earlier to have a good full time job? For one, I’m way too scared to put my baby in daycare. I know this reason isn’t related to my laziness because I feel in my heart the fear of putting my baby in a stranger’s care and that stranger not properly taking care of my child. It’s a very real fear, not related to laziness. The laziness reason is basically that it made me feel content with what I have right now and not feel the need to have more, even though it would be great to have more.

Now that I’ve realized all of this, my life has become that much harder. I’m pretty much fighting for my life right now. I’m not on the edge of dying, but I am on the edge of losing interest in anything and just be content with the life I have. I don’t want that. This is not the life I want, and I have to repeat this to myself many times a day to keep the laziness at bay. It’s such a huge fight, that I’ve started doubting every single thought that comes to my mind. I doubt every decision I make. Just dissecting everything to make sure it’s what I actually want to do and not what the laziness is trying to make me choose. It’s very hard since I’ve been living this way for I don’t know how long, but it’s a fight I intend to win; no matter how long it takes.

 

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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Halloween Night

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My little Ewok ❤

This Halloween was my baby’s first time Trick-or-Treating. We told ourselves, since he’s only 17 months old, we would only do a couple of houses. We ended up walking the whole road, but since not all houses gave out candy, I think we ended up going to about less than 10 doors.

Sadly, my shyness kept me from going with my son to the doors, but my SO gave me many details about how our baby reacted. On the first house, he tried going inside haha! After that, he was extremely shy. Only looked at the person opening the door and not taking the candy they were handing to him. My SO had to take the candy himself, which he didn’t feel comfortable doing, but he didn’t have much of a choice haha. The only times my baby approached the door more was when there was a dog in the doorway. He would try to touch the dog and not pay attention to the person handing him candy haha!

After walking back home, we had a few errands to make so we kept my son in his costume (he was way too cute to get him out after so little time) and went to the mall. There, I showed him to a friend at work and she thought he was so cute he needed a cookie haha. We spent about an hour at the mall, which was way more than needed at first, because almost every boutique would stop us to ask if they could give candy to our son. At first my baby was still shy and not sure how to react, but once he understood he could take candy out of the buckets, there was no stopping him. We must’ve spent 10-15 minutes at almost every boutique because he wouldn’t stop taking candy out of the buckets! It was so hilarious. He would take one out, if he had two in his hands he would put one back in, and give it to either me or my SO or the salesperson.

It wasn’t quite the Halloween I was hoping for my son, but it was still very fun and hilarious. He had fun so that’s what counts! I’m already looking forward to next year!

 

How did you spend your Halloween?

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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Picking a Halloween Costume for my Baby

Picking a Halloween costume is always tricky, so when I had to pick one for my baby, I started thinking about the “rules” of baby Halloween costumes; at least the ones that applied to my baby!

The first year is obviously the year when you can dress your baby in the cutest costume ever! On his first Halloween, my baby was dressed as a cute little tiger!

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This year is his second Halloween and now that he’s walking, I can combine a cute costume with a walking costume. By that I mean, a costume that is cute when a baby can walk. I don’t exactly know how to explain better than that. In my head there are the cute costumes for when he’s a tiny baby, and there are the costumes that are cute, but are way cuter when he can walk while wearing them. I wanted so bad to go with a Sylvester from Looney Toons costume, but I sadly couldn’t find one in his size. So we went with a costume with a theme that I had planned for next year, but it’s fine because he won’t be wearing what I thought he would for that theme so we can still do it when he’s older. I’ll show you a proper picture next week.

For the next Halloweens, he’ll be in the years when he can choose his own costume. Next year he won’t be able to properly choose his own costume, so I’ll still be able to pick at least two choices for him and he’ll choose between them; which means I can still have my personal fun for at least one more Halloween haha!

 

How do you decide how to dress yourself and/or your baby for Halloween?

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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The Unexpected Week That Threw Me Off My Schedule

So this week has been a tough one for me. It was a long week-end so we went up to my in-law’s and came back Monday night. Already I was exhausted from the week-end, we went to many places and I never sleep well when I’m not in my own bed, but then I woke up Tuesday morning with a hint of a cold. I hoped it was just tiredness making me blow my nose so much, it tends to happen.

For some reason the week before I decided it would be a good idea to schedule two appointments on the same day. It was a hell of a day. Barely made it to my appointment in the morning, then came back home only to have just enough time to buy the things I learned I needed, make lunch, eat, then right back out the door for my second appointment. After that I needed to make another purchase and had to set my baby down for a nap afterwards. It was only around 3p.m. that I finally got time to breathe a little, in between loads of laundry.

Wednesday morning brought a full on cold to my face. I was barely functional all day, but still forced myself to clean a little. It was a very bad idea; tired myself so much that I fell asleep reading my book in the evening. Good thing my SO was home from work or else my baby would’ve been walking around the house without surveillance!

On Thursday, I was supposed to work from 5p.m. to 9p.m., but I called in sick because I was worse off than the day before. On top of every other symptom I already had, a stupid nausea came over me and stuck around for the rest of the day. Barely had any energy, and the few ounces I has were spent taking care of my child; which mean still barely any reading done. Besides, even if I would’ve had more time to read, I had the hardest time keeping my eyes open for more than a paragraph!

Friday brought a little glimmer of hope. The nausea left me alone and the headaches decided to start leaving as well. The nose is still clogged up and I can’t read for more than 10 minutes at a time without falling asleep, but I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Obviously, since I’m posting this today, it means there won’t be a review of Two Towers this week. I’ll do my best to finish it this week-end and make next week a double review week. Wish me luck!

 

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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Love at First Sight

Love at first sight is something I’ve always wanted to believe in. It was a feeling I always hoped I would experience if it existed, but never did. At least, not in the way I thought it was supposed to be.

The first time I saw my SO, I’m ashamed to say I thought he was stuck up, pretty much only because of how he was dressed and how he talked. Then I started talking to him (we would cross paths at a club in college) and I learned he wasn’t stuck up. He was actually quite a funny guy. But I only thought of him as a friend, since at the time I was going out with another guy. When I became single again, me and my SO started talking more often and made plans to hang out during the summer. Back then he was four hours away for an internship, but we didn’t last until summer before seeing each other. He came down about halfway through his internship to spend a weekend with me and that’s when we officially became a couple.

Obviously, I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t feel the “love at first sight” phenomenon, but I much more liked having my SO be a friend before a lover. It made it so much easier being myself around him since he already knew how I was naturally. Lucky for me, I still got to experience love at first sight three years into the relationship.

We had a baby. There is no feeling comparable to what you feel when you see your baby for the first time. It’s such an overwhelming feeling, very hard to describe. Of course you start loving your baby way before you give birth to him, but it’s not quite the same love. When you’re baby is not yet born, you love the idea of him. Once he is in your arms and you hear him screaming and the idea of a baby becomes so real, this little being suddenly holds all your heart; and you don’t even know him yet!

I have never felt love at first sight towards my SO, but right now I feel like nobody has experienced true love at first sight until they’ve held their baby in their arms for the first time. There’s no better feeling in the world, and I get to feel it all over again every time I look at my son.

 

Did you experience the “love at first sight” phenomenon with your SO and/or your baby?

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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Solicitation From Companies

In this day and age, there are a million ways for companies to know what’s going on in your life; and when you’re having a baby you get a lot of attention from them. Not just companies, but people too.

I remember when I was pregnant we were looking at houses. We began by looking at houses sold by their owner, so they were the ones giving us the tour of the house. Every house we looked at, they kept asking a thousand questions about my baby. “When are you due”, “Is it a boy or a girl”, etc. But the one thing they did that annoyed me the most was use the fact that I was pregnant to try to sell us the house. Every one of them showed us a bedroom or a study and said “this could be the baby’s room! You could do this or that in it and it would be perfect for the baby!” or they would say stuff like “You could be in the kitchen making dinner while watching the kids in the living room”. It annoyed me so bad that I completely lost the will to look at other houses while pregnant.

Then there’s the companies. You subscribe to one little thing on the internet that involves babies and suddenly your email box is full of emails from a thousand companies wanting to talk to you about their products. Or you get an email per month giving you some information about your growing baby. I also found myself receiving products by mail that I never asked for.

But it’s once you’ve given birth that it gets worse. You suddenly get called by every fricken insurance company wanting to talk to you about their program for newborns and how it’s free for the first year of his life. I must have gotten a call from about 5 different companies about it. I hate how they try to take advantage of the fact that you have a child to make money. I almost got screwed over by so many of them. You’re at your most vulnerable state. You’ve given birth not even a week ago and they call you talking about how you have to get insurance for your baby in case this or that happens to him. They pry on your sudden need to protect this human being to make you sign absurd contracts you wouldn’t even consider in your normal state of mind. Good thing I had the sense to tell them I would talk to my SO first. He’s the one that kept telling me not to go for it.

Sadly, you get annoyed by all of this, but as soon as you try to avoid it all, you get a visit from the F.B.I asking you questions to see if you’re a terrorist. That’s right. It didn’t happen to me, but I read a story about a woman that, when she learned she was pregnant, she asked all her family and friends not to mention it on the web. She started only paying cash and avoiding everything that involved leaving a trace on the web that she was pregnant. Since she wasn’t on the government’s radar anymore, she got a visit from the F.B.I because they thought she was making a bomb or something. It’s crazy isn’t it?

 

What do you think about this?

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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My Dear Baby Grows Up Way Too Fast

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Using a spoon for the first time on his own!

When you have a baby, you’re so happy to just cuddle that little bundle of joy and have him stay tiny forever. But after a while, when he starts trying new things, you start looking forward to him learning stuff. First he learns how to roll, then crawl, then walk, and then the learning goes wild! But the most marvelous thing is when he shows you something he knows and you didn’t know he knew.

When my baby started walking, I checked in my books what where the next steps in his learning curve. I noticed it said to start showing him how to use stairs so he wouldn’t be scared later on. Since we don’t have stairs where I live, I couldn’t show him properly. When we went outside, there was this tiny step and I just started trying to show him how to get up that tiny thing. He grasped the idea quickly, but he didn’t seem to have the strength to pull himself up there so he would put his foot on the step and I would pull him up. He slowly started pulling himself on the step while holding my hand. I didn’t have to pull anymore. Then one day, we went to my in-laws and my mother-in-law showed him once how to get up the stairs on all fours. He didn’t want to do that at all. He wanted to get up the stairs like adults. Like how we had showed him with the tiny step back home. But on another week-end when we went back up to my in-laws, my dear Baby suddenly decided to climb three steps on all fours, all on his own! I didn’t even think he’d registered that since he was only shown once how to do it! But he sure did it!

Later in the week, my baby showed me something else he knew that I had absolutely no idea he knew! He showed me he knew where his feet were! I don’t remember how we ended up on the subject, but all of a sudden when I would ask him where his feet were he would bend down and touch his feet! When I told my SO he told me our baby also knew where his hair was! It’s crazy! I don’t even know how he learned those things!

There are so many other examples I could give you, but the point I’m trying to make is: Babies grow up fast. Way too fast. One day you have a tiny little baby in your arms that doesn’t know anything other than the basic survival skills and suddenly you wake up one morning and you have yourself a one year old genius that shows you skills you didn’t even knew he had! Ladies, when mothers say “Cherish the first months and hold your tiny baby as much as you can, because he will grow up fast” believe them! I didn’t believe them and I regret it! I feel like I haven’t held my baby enough and now that I want to cuddle him, he doesn’t want to! He’s too focused on learning and exploring. Which is a good thing, but I’d like to cuddle him more!

 

If you have a baby, or a nephew/niece, what is something they did that you were surprised they knew?

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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Going out alone, with the baby

Going out with the baby all by myself, is a bit of a struggle. Here’s how it normally goes when we need to go to the mall:

What time is it? It’s already 1:30? That leaves us an hour and a half to do all the errands before he needs to take his nap. It takes about 10 minutes to get there, which means about an hour to spend at the mall. Okay, I have to get him dressed now. Will you stop moving, Baby, please? I need to get you dressed so we can make errands. Okay there, you’re dressed. Now where in the world are your shoes? I left them there last time. What did you do with them? Oh here’s one in the laundry basket. And here’s the other one in your toy box. Will you stop wriggling around and let me put your shoes? Okay I have the baby, I have my keys, I have my purse. Damn is my credit card in my wallet? Yes it is. Shit where’s my cellphone? It’s not in my purse, where it should be. Is in on the kitchen table? In my room? Ah there it is! It was charging in the living room. Damn it, does it have enough battery to last the trip? Hopefully it will. Okay Baby, come in my arms. No stop running away. This is not a game! Finally out the door. Now I have to manage to unlock the front door, then bend backwards so I can get the lock of the back door without hitting the baby’s head on the car. There we go! Now to strap him in. Damn those seat belts. Always being twisted. How do they manage to always be like that? I don’t twist them when I take out Baby.

Finally! I’m sitting in the car. Damn it’s hot in here. I wish I had air conditioning. Too bad. I’ll just have to open my window and hope it’s going to be enough for us to not over heat. Okay start driving. Halfway there. Baby is pretty silent. Is he okay? I’ll just look over my should a second to see if he’s still alive. Yep he’s fine. Just staring out the window. Shit he’s getting cranky. Okay it’s a red light, I can try to tickle him. It’s working! He’s laughing! Almost there, Baby, just a few minutes left. We’re finally at the mall. Now I need to find a parking space that’s close to one of those cart things so I don’t have to leave my cart in the middle of a parking spot. I hate when people do that. Yes! Lucky day! There’s a pregnant woman/young family spot available. I love those. Unlock the passenger door, get my purse, make sure I have my keys. Now make sure I locked my door, the other door is locked too, just checking even though I didn’t touch it. Open the passenger door to unlock the back door. Lock that door and open the back door. Unstrap my son and take him in my arms. Lock his door, make sure I have the keys, again. Close the door and make my way inside.

What time is it? Shit it’s already 2:20. Only 40 minutes left before his nap time. I have to hurry. Get a cart, put Baby in. No, I’m sorry, you can’t walk. Mommy needs the cart and daddy’s not here to take your hand while mommy pushes the cart. Okay now where in the world are those things I need. They always change where things are. Oh there it is! I’m just going to check this real quick, for a future DIY project. Oh that’s nice! Maybe I should buy it now. Oh now, I’ll check if the dollar store has some first. Okay did he need diapers? Or cereals? Or wipes? I’ll just go in the baby section and see if I remember stuff that he needs. No diapers his size, for the second week. Hopefully he has enough to last until they restock. Oh there are new cereals! Let’s try them. I’ll just check real quick if there are new pyjamas. You need pyjamas. Nope, no new pyjama. Okay now to avoid the other clothes, because I do not need to spend more money on that. You have way too much clothes already. Alright, I think were done. Time to go pay. Damn the line is long. Hopefully everyone is respecting the under 12 items so it’ll go fast. Yes, sir, what you’re saying is funny. Yes, ma’m, he wants to get out of the cart. No he can’t go in your arms. Oh finally! My turn to pay. No, Baby, don’t touch those buttons. Mommy needs to get the pin right or else we can’t bring this stuff home. Okay now to get you back in the car. Same fun as before.

Back home. What time is it? Shit it’s passed 3. Am I going to be able to bring the baby and the bags inside at the same time? Nope, too much stuff. Okay, Baby, you’re going to go in your bed and sleep, while mommy goes back outside to bring the bags in. He’s in his bed, I got the monitor, the volume is maxed, and I have my keys. Let’s hope nothing happens. Okay, I got the bags inside and unpacked. Now I can finally sit down and relax a little before getting the supper started.

 

Are your outings as crazy as mines?

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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Getting Sick When You Have a Baby

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The worst thing right now for me is getting sick. Being sick is already shitty, but when you get sick and have to take care of a baby at the same time? That’s the worst thing in the world, for selfish reasons and non-selfish ones.

When you’re sick, all you want to do is curl up in bed and die, but you can’t do that with a baby. When you have a baby, even though your head is pounding and you keep blowing your nose every minute and you have zero energy, you have to get up in the morning and taking care of your baby. Which means feeding him, changing his diaper, playing with him, and if he’s old enough you have to run after him because he keeps walking off in other rooms. All that when all you want to do is lay down and die. That is the selfish reason. All you want to do when you’re sick is forget your responsibilities and stop living for a few days until you’re all better.

The non-selfish reason is quite obvious. You don’t want to infect your baby. Sadly, it’s quite certain that it’s going to happen. When you’re a stay-at-home mom and all you do during the day is take care of your baby by yourself, he is bound to catch whatever sickness you have. You can do whatever you can to keep him from catching your illness, but truth is, he’s probably going to get sick right after you anyway. Which means that even after you’re finally better and would like to relax a bit since you just spent a couple of days fighting off sickness, you can’t! Because you now have to take care of your poor baby that caught what you had.

I repeat. Being sick when you have a baby is the worst thing in the world.

 

Until next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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My New Job

I’ve recently started working again. At a new job, because my old one wasn’t good anymore. Long story short, I used to work as a receptionist at a hotel and I worked the night shift. Obviously I couldn’t go back to that shift with a baby to take care of during the day, so I asked my boss if she could give me the morning or evening shift on the week-ends. She said no. So after my maternity leave I ended up without a job.

Since I have this huge dilemma with putting my baby in daycare (see here: https://youngmomsouvenirs.wordpress.com/2014/08/18/the-daycare-struggle/ ) I started looking for week-end jobs. There aren’t many sadly. After three interviews I finally got a job. I’m cleaning tables at the mall’s food court. It pays well and I only work 9 hours a week. It’s just enough to pay for my expenses (as in car insurance, gaz and groceries). Obviously I’ll hopefully not be staying there very long. But in the meantime, I have to bear with the other workers.

I thought it would be quite easy to do. They all told me they were a great team and that I would love it there. The first week was fine. The second week started being weird. I started noticing people talking behind other’s backs and some that tried to be superior than they were. For example, this woman (let’s call her Cindy) kept telling me how I was doing everything wrong when it’s not her place to tell me those things (if they’re even true). Then last week happened.

Friday night, another co-worker (let’s say Julie) came asking if she was working this week-end. The lady that was taking care of putting up the schedule (We’ll call that one Betty) while our boss was on vacation told her she didn’t know. Then she started telling me how our boss wants to give hours to the best ones, which meant me. After that one of the maintenance guys (George) asked me what was going on with Julie. I told him I didn’t know what was going on. He said he was wondering because the hours I was doing used to be the hours she was doing. I started worrying that I was taking somebody else’s place instead of replacing someone that left like I was told.

On Saturday, I checked the new schedule and saw that Julie wasn’t on the schedule at all. Her name wasn’t there anymore! I asked Betty if she knew anything about it and she just repeated what she had told me the night before. I told her what George told me and how I was worried I was taking somebody else’s hours. She got so mad! She said he didn’t have the right to tell me that, that it wasn’t true, that our boss had the right to give the hours to whomever she wanted. Then the maintenance guy that was taking our boss’ place (Rob) while she’s on vacation came and told me the same thing. Then talked about how pretty much everyone that works there is full of crap and that I can only trust him and Betty.

Many other things happened and I came close so many times to just telling everyone to buzz off. That this job was the simplest job in the world; that I perfectly knew how to clean tables and those plastic cabaret thingies. I also hate having to deal with Cindy. Betty apparently told her to stop telling me how to do my job, and she didn’t speak to me the whole time Betty was there. But as soon as Betty’s shift was over, Cindy came over and started bothering me. Another example, my break is at 3:45p.m. I checked the time and it was 3:40p.m. so I told myself I was going to clean these 4 tables and it should be time for my break after that. I was giving the final stroke on the final table and Cindy was in my back showing me her watch and telling me to go take my break. It’s as if she went out of her way to stop her job and come all the way to the other side of the food court just to tell me right at 3:45p.m. to go take my break. And she said it sternly as if I would get in deep trouble if I didn’t take it right then.

There are so many things frustrating me about that place, but I just have to remind myself that I’m not staying there for the long run and to just keep my head down and ignore what’s going on around me.

 

Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤


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