Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters

Hansel & GretelJanuary 25th, 2013


The movie starts off by showing us the classic tale everyone knows. They show Hansel and Gretel being left in the woods by their dad, then finding a house made of candy, to finally be trapped by a witch and ending up killing her. The movie adds the little fact that somehow they’re immune to magic.

After a montage of their exploits over the years mixed with the names of the people that worked on the movie, we learn they got called in to a village where children have gone missing, supposedly because of witches. They arrive just in time to prove a young woman is not a witch. To prove that she’s not a witch, they check her skin, eyes and teeth. They say when a witch is dealing in magic a rot will set in those places.

While the hunters are spending the night in a bar, we learn that the witches are trying to make a spell that’ll make them permanently immune to fire. Which is a bad thing since the only sure way to kill a witch is to burn her. During the day, they install a trap for the witches and manage to capture one for interrogation. That’s when they learn what the witches need for their spell. Trying to save a child, Hansel holds on to a witch’s broom; while Gretel fights off the Great Witch, she learns that she is the last ingredient (and we learn that Great Witches can alter their appearances). When they get stranded in the woods, they find their childhood home and find out secrets about their parents, and learn that there are good witches that are called white witches.

I really like this movie, but when you start analyzing it, you see some fails. For example, because the witch forced him to eat candy when he was young, Hansel is now sick (diabetes I suppose) and has to inject medicine in his leg after some time or else he dies. The first time we see him inject himself is while discussing the missing children with the mayor. You see in the mayor’s face he’s wondering why Hansel is doing that, but no one mentions it. On the second day, we see him injecting himself again and that’s when he explains why he has to do that. Then a whole day passes without us seeing him inject his medicine in his leg. The last time we see him do it, is while they’re battling the Great Witch at the end, on their fourth day there. Obviously it was added just to put some suspense in the battle, but if they wanted to go for that angle, they should’ve showed us every time he injected himself; because now it just feels like they wanted us to know he needed that, just so they could put that suspense later and they didn’t do a follow up.

I also hate how Gretel, a strong female that has been fighting her ass off during the whole movie, is suddenly a damsel in distress near the end of the movie. She had to be tough during the movie because she’s a witch hunter, but of course as soon as she knows they need her for their spell, she turns into this helpless girl that needs saving from her brother.

My favorite part is at the beginning when they’re in the bar and there’s a guy that comes and says they’ve been attacked by a witch and he has a message from her, and then he blows up. Hansel knew it was coming so he pulled Benjamin in front of him, but Gretel didn’t move so she got a lot of blood on her. After he blew up she says “The curse of hunger for crawling things. I fucking hate that one.” And Benjamin answers “That was awesome!”


Until Next Time!

Young Mom ❤

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