Last Friday, on the 30th of May, my baby boy turned 1 year old. It’s so incredible how the year flew by. So many struggles buried under many more joyous moments. It’s been one whole year since I’ve given birth to my precious baby boy. It still feels like it was yesterday. I still get scared that he’ll just stop breathing while he’s sleeping. I still go check on him before going to bed, to make sure he’s o.k. I’m still terribly scared I’ll wake up one day and realize it was all just a dream. That this whole year hasn’t happened and that I don’t have my baby boy. I even still have a hard time believing this is my baby. My little boy that I gave birth to. Me, that still marvels at the fact that I’m not a teenager anymore.
It’s so strange how this little human being can change your life in such a huge way. There are so many things that used to matter so much to me and now they just seem pointless. I used to worry about what everyone would think of me if I had a baby so young. Yes, I wanted to have a baby at 21 years old. Yes, I decided to skip college and start a family. But there are so many people that judge young moms. When you see a young mom, you immediately think it was an accident. That she wasn’t careful enough. Nobody thinks that maybe, just maybe, it was her choice. That this little bundle of joy was actually wanted at that time in her life. Now, a year later, it doesn’t matter to me what people think. Yes, I’m a young mom. That’s what I wanted. I “sacrificed” a career to start my family young. I’ll have my career later. Plenty of time for that. But I want to be able to enjoy seeing my kids grow up. I don’t want to have to go back to work after only a year after giving birth because my career doesn’t let me spend more time at home raising my son. Anyways, I’m rambling.
My little bundle of joy has made me see the simplest joys in life and made me realize I was caring too much about small things. I’m such a better person because of my son. I want to be a better person for my son. I want him to be able to grow up and say how cool his mom is, and how she teaches him wonderful lessons about life by just being a good example. I’m not saying I’ll be perfect. Of course there are those moments where you just can’t handle it anymore and you start screaming. But if I can have as few moments like that as I can, and more awesome moments, then I’ll dare consider myself a good mom.
Funny how we parents want to teach our children about life, and yet during their first years they’re the ones teaching us. Only one year has passed in this little man’s life and he already taught his mommy very valuable things that she’ll pass back to him when he’s older.
Until Next Time!
Young Mom ❤