This post is a bit more personnal than we’re used to. It’s my experience with breastfeeding, so if you don’t feel confortable reading it, it’s totally ok. I just wanted to put it out there so there would be another story for future moms to help them decide what to do.
Before I got pregnant, I didn’t want anything to do with breastfeeding. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of a small human sucking on my boob to feed. Once I got pregnant, I started hearing stories of people who thought it was the best feeling in the world. I also started reading on the good it would do to my baby. So I started telling myself to at least try it.
Once Xavier was born, the first feeding was the best feeling in the world. My little baby that had just come out of me was now lying next to me drinking the milk my body was making just for him. During our two days/three nights stay at the hospital, breastfeeding started being hell. I was being woken up every three hours to feed Xavier and I was having all the trouble in the world setting him at my breast. Because I was having a hard time placing him, he wouldn’t latch on correctly so it would hurt.
Once we got out of the hospital, it was a little bit easier. I didn’t have a nurse coming in every three hours to tell me it was time to breastfeed, and to criticize how I was doing it. I was in my own place, doing it how it made it feel right. Although I was feeling better breastfeeding without a nurse lurking around me making sure I was doing it their way, I was still having some problems getting used to the feeling. It didn’t quite help that I had to also wake up Xavier every three hours. Everyone around me kept telling me not to wake him up, that you should never wake a baby up. But the nurses told me I had to feed him every three hours until he gained back his birth weight.
We spent a week waking up every three hours to try to feed him. It was extremely hard because he kept falling asleep in the middle of feedings. It made feeding time a hell that lasted a whole hour. Here’s what our routine looked like: Wake Xavier up, spend 20-30 minutes on one boob while fighting with him to keep him awake, change his diaper to try to wake him up more, spend another 20-30 minutes on the second boob still fighting with him to keep him awake. Then start over after two hours of sleep. After that week, we got the o.k. to stop waking him up during the night. It was a huge relief, but, even though he would sometimes wake up after 4 hours, he would mostly wake up on his own after 2 hours (to feed every 3 hours). After about 3 weeks, it started being easier. He started finishing on one boob on his own after about 10 minutes. Feedings would last about half an hour, which was great.
During his two months he started sleeping more during the night. Then he started fussing on the boob. I checked on the Internet what it could mean, and they suggested one of the reasons could be he wasn’t getting enough milk. We weighed him and we found out he was not gaining enough weight. This meant my milk supply lowered since I was feeding him less often. So I had to start pumping to see what I could get out and compensate the rest with formula. By the end of September, my milk supply was dried out. Xavier was completely on formula.
My experience of breastfeeding was awful. Not being able to just let my SO feed the baby once during the night so I could rest a bit more, not knowing if he was drinking enough, the pain I felt each time he would suck on my breast. It was unbearable. If my milk supply hadn’t stopped, I would’ve stopped on my own. Let’s just say I probably won’t be breastfeeding my second child.
Until Next Time!
Young Mom ❤